- What Makes Love Last?
- Cheating - Why do Men and Women Cheat?
- Relationship Counselling - Why it's a good idea
- Relationship Counselling - How To Communicate Better
- Change In Relationship Counselling
- All About Love
- Couple Intimacy Exercise
- Relationship Counselling - "Be here Now"
- Stuck Relationship Patterns
- Affairs and Betrayal
Is This How You Sometimes Feel ?
Effective Anger Management Techniques
I can show you how to understand what triggers your anger and how to use effective techniques to process your anger and feel better.
- Understand healthy and unhealthy anger
- Discover the beliefs that fuel your anger
- Become aware of what triggers your anger
- Learn how express your feelings in a way that they are heard
- Learn how to manage your stress and arousal
- Learn techniques to release pent up feelings quickly
Anger is a normal primary emotion that has a useful function to keep us safe and protect what is important to us. Sometimes early life experiences have taught us to supress and ignore what we are feeling. Anger can be a taboo emotion in many families. It is because of the fear and repression of anger that anger can end up controlling us. It can become explosive and violent and damage our relationships.
Understanding Anger Triggers
By taking the time to look at what is really going on when we are angry and understanding what is being triggered in us we learn to express our feelings and needs in more effective ways. We learn to have a better relationship with our anger and gain more control. We learn to express and meet our needs early so anger doesn't build up.
One essential skill of anger management is to check out the assumptions we make when we begin to feel angry. Typically we see someone doing something and then tell ourselves a story about that person's intention is automatically. If we develop skills to be able to express our fears and check them out we can make better sense of what is going on.
It's inevitable in relationships we are get triggered into bonding patterns with our partner. Sometimes our anger is a useful form of self-protection allowing us to be true to ourselves, sometimes the anger we feel is loaded with hurt from the past that is re-triggered and sometimes the anger we feel is the unexpressed anger that belongs to our partner. It helps to get some support to understand the relationship dynamics.
Clearing A Build Up Of Anger
Anger is stored in the bodily Cells. Sometimes we need a way to move the energy out of our body and connect to the secondary feelings underneath such as grief and saddness. It can be such a relief to be able to express what we have been holding onto out of fear.
Primary and Secondary Feelings
Anger sometimes is a learnt response to protect us from secondary feelings underneath. Eg Fear of abandonment or being ignored or disconnected from our partner. Getting support to feel safe enough to work through the underlying feeling helps you to reconnect to yourself.
Develop A Better Relationship With Your Anger
Ignoring what we feel gets us into trouble. What we repress and resist ends up controlling us as we end up constantly pushing away what is wanting to be expressed. What we can do is stop judging what we feel and instead educate ourselves about what we need and what the messages are in the anger. Underneath all that anger are hurt feelings that need to be understood. Find out how to take care of yourself and regulate your anger by paying attention to it, valuing what it's tell you, and finding appropriate expression. Continually avoiding your anger and pushing it down until it builds up and possesses you, leaves you and others living in fear. Decide to take your anger seriously and get support to understand yourself better.