Frequently Asked Questions

Relationships go through different phases and it's normal to go thorough periods of difficult/ Crisis. If you feel that trying to work things out between you isn't working then getting some relationship counselling can really help clear hurt and resentment and learn to communicate better. It's a positive step to face what is going on and find ways to move through it. If you are unsure I suggest coming for one session . It can bring huge relief to address the issues.

I ask you questions to help you express how you feel about what’s going on. You get a chance to say how you see your relationship and what you are wanting from relationship counselling.

We begin to build picture of what’s happening and what you can do about it. If your relationship is in crisis we look at practical steps you can take now to give yourself time to make sense of what you want to.

Coming for the first time can feel like a big step and it’s normal to feel a bit nervous trying something new especially when you may be feeling stuck or worried about how your partner will react. Things do get worked through and it’s often a huge relief to have taken the first step.

I usually see couples either weekly or every other week. We can work out when to meet depending on what you need and what your schedules allow.

Different couples have different needs so it’s not possible to say how long you need to come.
Relationship counselling is a process of getting the understanding and insights you need to make the changes you want in your relationship.

I usually suggest you come for an initial session to see what it is like working with me; you can then decide if you want to commit between yourselves to come for number sessions. It feels good when you are both saying ‘yes’ to each other to do some work on your relationship for a period of time.

It helps to explore with your partner their concerns and what they fear about coming. You could share what you hope to gain from coming and your fears if things continue as they are.

It’s Ok to come when you are stuck or unclear what you want. You want to stay together, you may not. Relationship counselling is not about who is to blame. It’s a process of understanding more deeply what’s going on and getting clearer about your choices moving forward.

It’s true that many couples wait until their relationship is in crisis before getting help. It doesn’t have to be this way.

The earlier you address issues the easier it is. Even it you just want a “Relationship Healthcheck” it can be a smart move to book a session.


It’s an understandable fear that talking about things can make things worse. What makes the difference is how you talk about them and your ability to hear and understand each other.

Relationship Counselling gives you the opportunity to talk about things in a way that maybe you haven’t been able to talk about at home. You get the support to work things through constructively.

I suggest coming as a couple if you can. Relationship counselling has the benefit that the therapist can see what is going on between you. Often it can seem that the cause of the issues are all to do with one partner, yet with a bit of exploration it becomes clear how both parties are in a pattern that keeps an issue going.

sessions are usually 75 minutes we find this is the optimium amount of time for most couples.

Here is a list of some of the issues:

  • A lack of quality time together
  • Abusive relationships
  • Affairs - Making sense of affairs and dealing with the hurt
  • Anger issues
  • Arguing too much
  • Boarding school survivor issues
  • Falling out of love/ Not sure if we want to be together
  • How to nourish our relationship
  • I love you but I’m not in love with you issues
  • Issues over wanting /not wanting children
  • Jealousy and possessiveness
  • Kids left home, how do we get on with each other
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Lack of personal space, boundaries
  • Living arrangments
  • Managing a Long distance relationship
  • Men resentful and overwhelmed by partners needs
  • New mums and dads – exhaustion, lack of nourishment, feeling disconnected
  • Not Arguing
  • Not being able to communicate
  • One partner distancing, the other pursuing
  • Overworking, inbalance of responsibilities
  • Parenting issues
  • Power inbalances
  • Resentments, feeling undermined
  • Relationship expectations
  • Sexual issues, feeling rejected, dealing with different desires
  • Splitting off feels, Addictions, pornography
  • Step Families – problems getting on with children and step children. Conflict of Loyalties
  • Stress, anxiety
  • Understanding Gender differences
  • Wanting more romance/ passion/ sexual desire

I can usually make an appointment with you within a week

I usually see couple together for the first session, then have one session individually and then continue together. In my experience working with you both together is the most effective way of understanding the relationship dynamics between you. Even it seems at the outset that only one of you needs to address an issue there is great benefit in you both attending.

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